Broken Strands
by redemptionsong
Summary: Bella compared the people in her life to the strands of a web, interwoven and delicate, easily destructible. One-shot.


Bella had always been an obliging child. Her mother enrolled her in ballet, helped her sell Girl Guide cookies, hoping to ignite a spark in her quiet child. '_Such a lovely child,'_ people would say. '_Such a lovely, obedient girl.'_ When Bella came home with bleeding toes and a bruised ego her mother would kiss her wet cheeks and another pursuit would emerge. One day her mother burst in happily twittering about girls soccer and Bella thought, _I suppose I'll go._

*

Her mother had always taught her to play fair, to never lie, cheat or steal. Despite this, her mother was flighty and shallow. Bella knew this somewhere deep down but it still surprised her when other people thought it too. She saw their looks, heard their whispers, felt their scorn. Her mother was deemed a cougar, an unfit parent, a whore. When Bella was twelve, a woman with a blotchy pink face accosted her while she was waiting for the school bus.

'Your mother's a whore. Did you know that?'

Bella's body trembled as she stared the woman down.

'You tell her to keep her hands to herself.' A sharp poke in the chest, a strangled sob. 'You tell her I said that.'

She watched as the woman scurried away and the school bus left without her.

She never did tell her mother.

Her mother had not heeded her own advice.

*

In a sandy plain, a dusty wind carried voices to her perch at the window. Lovers were pleading and begging something of each other.

'Come with me, Renee.'

'I can't. We have a home here, my job-'

'Marry me. Marry me and come with me.'

'And Bella?'

Bella climbed inside her bedroom and shut the window. She pulled a suitcase out from under her bed and thought unhappily, _I suppose I'll go._

*

In a plane jetting out from a spontaneous life in which she was not welcome, Bella's world changed. Her home was now a vast sea of green, no longer grainy and dry but blooming in its leafy abundance. There was life in this world after all.

And people.

People surrounded and gravitated to her. People she knew once upon a time but had long since forgotten. People she knew now but didn't care to know further. People of light and darkness. People who loved and adored, lied and cheated.

Her mother had always told her to follow her heart.

Her father had told her to think before acting.

Renee was surrounded by people who hated her and Charlie was alone and Bella thought she would be damned either way.

*

That first day Bella had walked into that cafeteria and saw five people waiting, pale and unusually beautiful, waiting for a sixth to complete their circle. Their eyes were all amber and distant but his eyes , Edward's eyes, were jaded and glossed over, as if he had been waiting years for her. The missing link. She should have taken that annoying girl's offer and sat somewhere else. Instead, she took a step towards them and thought happily, _I suppose I'll go._

*

Edward's nose breathed in her scent, tracing along her jaw, her hair and resting at her throat.

'I could kill you.'

'I know.'

'I don't know what you want from me.'

'Just you. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be.'

Bella silenced his retort with his lips, his cool gasp swallowed in her warm mouth.

*

Bella compared the people in her life to the strands of a web, interwoven and fragile, easily destructible. Her yearning linked her strand to Edward's despite his reluctance to connect at first. Their line was thinning, becoming undone and she tried in vain to weave it back into place. In desperation, Bella looked to the other strands trying to emulate their bonds.

*

Like Phil and Renee. A plea between two lovers.

'You have to stay behind, Bella.'

'Edward... Please don't do this.'

He told her as the sun set and darkness descended. A secret pain shared with the trees and beyond.

'I don't love you, Bella. You have to stay here.'

Not like Phil and Renee.

*

Not like Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper. Not like family.

'She stole my seat.'

'Oh, Rose, just take another seat.'

'Yeah, it's not like you're actually going to eat any lunch.'

Bella stifled her laugh and felt her skin prickle as a cool breath washed over her neck.

'You won't last, human.' Rosalie's gaze pierced through and Bella didn't have to look at her to know her eyes were burning scarlet. 'I always told Edward not to play with his food. You may have stolen him for a while but he'll come back. He always does.'

A beat.

'Now get out of my seat.'

Not like family.

*

Like Charlie and Billy. Like friends. Light filtered through and the sun began to shine again.

'I'm Jacob Black but you can call me Jake.'

An extended arm, a warm hand...

'I'm Bella. Just Bella.'

... a lifeline.

*

A bonfire blazed angrily along the beach and the flames reflected in his eyes only served to intensify his gaze.

'I love you, Bella. Only you. Do you love me?'

Bella's heart though repaired, still bore the effects of an abandoned love. The truth was swallowed and only the lie remained.

'Yes, Jake. I love you too.'

*

When Edward returned, it was he who needed rescuing this time. Hidden from the sun's rays, it was not so easy to forgive and forget when their bodies shared a remembered embrace. A perfect fit.

Bella pulled away but Edward's arms were not ready to relinquish their hold. He pulled her back, his pleas like a balm, soothing over the wounds of his earlier rejection.

'Please forgive me.'

'I lied to keep you safe.'

'You are my life now.'

'Tell me I'm not too late. Is it too late for us, Bella?'

Bella felt the coldness of being in thick shadows and squinted her eyes at the sun, longing to bathe herself in its warmth. She thought of fires and friendship and a boy with blazing eyes declaring an undying love.

'No,' she whispered. 'It's not too late.'

*

Bella gave her days to Jake and her nights to Edward. She relished the feel of Edward's cool hands over her flaming skin and Jake's steady pulse under her trembling mouth. Both of them were cautious, wary of their own strengths; afraid to hurt her. Bella would have laughed at the irony if the guilt hadn't already eaten away at her.

'Pick one,' Alice had said. 'You're playing with fire, Bella. What are you going to do?'

Bella lay alone in a grassy meadow, her fingers tracing lazily over a fallen motorbike and thought, _I suppose I'll go._

*

Bella had always been an obliging child.

Her mother had told her never to lie, cheat or steal and to always play fair.

Her father had taught her to think before acting.

Bella Swan was nothing if not obedient.


End file.
